UPDATE

HEY JERKOFFS NOW SOMETIMES IM GONNA RANT ABOUT SPORTS YOU DONT LIKE IT GO WATCH ANIME INSTEAD

UPDATE

OK JERKOFFS NOW IM ALSO GONNA POST SPORTS RANTS. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT FUCK OFF

NED'S UNCENSORED SCHOOL SURVIVAL GUIDE

This was inspired by a conversation me and nate had about me producing some x-rated scripts based on this nickelodeon tv show. If you havent watched ned's you won't understand most of this

{Scene: School Hallway before class. Cookie stands subtly by his locker and ned enters}
Cookie: Hey ned, come check this out you are gonna love it. (He opens his locker door)
Ned: Oh hey cookie, what is it?
(Cookie glances furtively in both directions)
Cookie: It's a da-
(Cookie is interrupted by the Janitor's voice)
Janitor : Hey you kids havent seen a monkey around here have you?
Kids: No...
(MONKEY RUNS BY WILDLY)
Janitor: There he is gotta run!!!!
(Janitor exits)
Ned: Man I heard he only has that monkey because he's teaching it to suck cock.
Cookie: AWESOME I gotta hang out with him more.
Ned: So what did you want to show me anyway?
Cookie: DATE RAPE DRUGS!
Ned: what?
Cookie: DATE RAPE DRUGS NED! SO YOU CAN FINALLY GET PAST JUST FINGERBLASTIN MOZE
Ned: Where did you get these Cookie?
(Cookie smiles)
Cookie: I made them in my meth lab.
Ned: Sweeet, but when can I date rape Moze?
Cookie: Didn't you hear Ned? Jake is having a big date rape party tonight! Everyone is gonna be there.

(Cut to inside girls bathroom, Moze and 2 boring friends stand in front of the mirror fixing their makeup and talking)

Moze: Ned was fingerblasting me for so damn long last night.
Friend: When are you and him just gonna fuck?
Moze: I dunno we are just such good friends.
Other Friend: Well you know there is a date rape party tonight right?
Moze: What's a date rape party?
Friend: Oh it's totally awesome!!! Everyone goes and then each guy slips a date rape drug into the drink of the girl they like the most!
Other Friend: I totally bet Ned is gonna daterape you tonight!
Moze: Really? You really think Ned is gonna date rape me at the party tonight? That would be sooooo awesome.
Friend: Yeah either him or that 40 year old latino guy. Better watch out, last year 8 different guys tried to date rape Sally Trumaine and she ended up dying.
Other Friend: Yeah but don't worry, date rape parties are totally fun and safe!