A few of the fine characters I work with

This will be a short summary of some of the people I work with setting the stage for future work related stories.

Little D - Smallest black guy I have ever seen. He has got to be like 5'3 MAX. What defines him beyond his lack of height is the fact that he is one of the slowest people I have ever seen and owns an amazing tattoo. Watching Little D is like watching a person in slo-motion. An order comes up, Little D waits then slowly grabs the ticket. He stands there looking at the ticket for about 30 seconds before comprehending that someone has ordered a side salad. The it sinks in that he has to make it and on and on. He is unbearably fucking slow. The one thing about him that makes up for it is his amazing Jesus, or what I assume is supposed to be Jesus, tattoo. It is on his forearm and is the greatest thing I've ever seen. It looks like a white trash guy with shoulder length greasy unwashed hair and the greatest looking handlebar moustache ever.

Darrel - Darrel was a black guy hired to work on the baked potatoe orders. Darrel was fairly normal except that he absolutely hated me and would get angry any time I spoke to him. Even if I was attempting to do something that helped him, like offering him some of the green onions I had just chopped, he would angrily respond. Then after turning down my offer he would come over a few minutes later, grab some and say something like "gimme some of dees shits." Darrels best moment came when while we were closing up one night, the manager told me I could leave even though the dishes hadn't been done yet. Darrel got to do the huge pile of dishes. As he saw me leave he ran outside after me and yelled "YO MAN U GONNA HAVE TO DO SOME FUCKING DISHES SOMETIME YOU KNOW?" I just turned around and said "Nah, probably not." He was fired 2 days later. I sort of hope he ran in there that night and tried to stab the manager or something.


Sarah the smartest and most mature 16 year old on earth!!! - Sarah is an incredibly stupid bitch. She got kicked out of 2 highschools and is now working on getting her GED. She is also married, which she constantly reminds everyone. She also has a kid who she wont shut the fuck up about. One day she asked me how old I was and when I told her she asked how many kids I had. I told her none and she asked "why not?" I responded by telling her "Because I'm not a fucking retard."

The life of Jerome pt. 6 THE VISION QUEST PT 4.

Jerome and crew take a stop on the edge of new mexico to buy some shrooms. This is the first time Jerome has been out of the car while tripping and he is overwhelmed. Everything around him looks fuckin crazy. Then he sees a cactus and thinks it is running towards him so he runs away. Soon he is lost and wandering around the countryside running away from invisible demons and tribes of indians bent on scalping him.

Eventually as he is running he hits some sort of barrier and is shocked. Whoops Jerome you just ran straight into an electric fence meant to keep cattle in. His pants are once again soiled, but you can't really blame him this time.

He passes out there and is woken several hours later by a rancher named Jimbo. Jimbo helps him back to the ranch and tries to figure out what the hell a black guy was doing running into his cow fence with a pantload full of shit.

Jimbo decides to give him the benefit of the doubt because "Hey sometimes you shit yourself ya know?"

Jimbo gives Jerome dinner and a fresh set of pants in return for Jerome sticking around to help out around the ranch for a couple days. Jerome finds the work rewarding and generally enjoys doing it. For the first time in his life maybe he has found his calling, a reason to live. He begins to think "FUCK DANNY G, I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN." then he realizes that no he probably cant and he better go see Danny G.

He has worked on the ranch for almost 2 weeks when he hears about a contest on the radio. All you have to do is be the 69th caller to call in and you are entered in a drawing to win a trip to vegas. Jerome calls as many times as he can and finally he gets 69'ed. He is in the drawing baby.

Several days later he gets a call. He didn't win the trip, he got 2nd place and just won a hat. FUCCCCCKKKKKK THIS SHIT screams Jerome and he throws the hat away. God smiles on Jerome. As he explodes in anger he scares the shit out of the old man who won the trip, and he has a heart attack and dies.

CONGRATS JEROME, YOU ARE THE NEW WINNER. Jerome obviously doesn't have much in the way of clothes to pack, so he heads to the airport. He somehow makes it on the plane despite being a convicted felon who is violating his parole and is wanted in respect to a robbery.

JEROME IS GOING TO VEGAS.

The life of Jerome pt. 6 THE VISION QUEST PT 3.

Jerome has to take stock of his life. He has a meager amount of money, a hobo shelter made from a stolen little caesar's sign, soiled pants, and a deep yearning to move westward.
He starts by finding a nearby walmart. Rather than just purchasing some new pants like a normal person, Jerome decides to scrimp. He grabs some new boxers and some sweatpants and heads to the bathroom. He changes clothes leaving his piss encrusted pants on the bathroom floor as some sort of horrific monument.

He strides out of the bathroom smiling. "AHHH SHIT YEAH BOI I JUS SAVED LIKE FITTEEN BUCKS!" Congrats Jerome, you are cheating the system with reckless abandon.
As he attempts to leave the store however the hidden censor tag on his newly aqcuired sweatpants sets off the alarm and he is forced to sprint from the Wal*Mart with security on his ass.

He decides he needs to get out of the midwest pronto. Now he has Walmart on his ass plus the cops are probably looking for him after that botched robbery.
Jerome uses the money he has to buy a greyhound ticket to LA. A wise choice. Jerome boards the bus and is headed west.

As the bus reaches a pit stop in Omaha, Nebraska, Jerome begins to feel a rumbling in his stomach. No he isn't hungry. This is something much worse. As the bus pulls into the station, Jerome rockets off the bus towards the nearest bathroom.

As soon as he is safely in a stall, shit is flying out of his ass with great velocity and splattering all over the porcelain bowl. Jerome is in agony for what feels like an hour. Turns out it was only about 11 minutes and Jerome's bus has left without him.

Now Jerome once again has no money and is stranded. He wanders around the parking lot before he spots an oldschool VW stoner van with a couple hippies laying on top smoking a fat blunt.

"yo man how youuu doin?" Jerome enquires. A hippy who introduces himself as Larry replies that he is "tripping fuckin balls maaan." Jerome asks Larry where they are headed and is informed that they are on their way to Arizona to score some killer peyote. After a brief conversation, it is agreed that Jerome will travel with them to Arizona. Larry, Jerome and another hippy named Thomas pile into the van and hit the road. Before they are half a block away another fat blunt is produced and is soon being passed between the new friends.
The Thomas asks Jerome if he has ever taken shrooms and Jerome replies "nah man what that do?" "It fucks your world up man!" Thomas replies. A bag of shrooms is offered and accepted.

The group of three is rocketing along the highway towards Arizona tripping balls and smoking blunt after blunt.

KATRINA CALL OUTS

CALL OUT KATRINA...........

1.When you look famous and a gay dude has fucked you in the butt!!!!

2. When anybody and everybody knows your "pussy" smells like trash!!!!

3. When you tryin to be HARD and it comes off as GAY and PEST like!!!!!

4.When i dap everybody in your crew except YOU!!!!!!!!!

5.When you bout to get that ass beat by a bunch of girls!!!!!

6.When you wear hats and to pretend to be somebody else!!!!~LOL

7. When you come around and everybody says damn here comes your boi @#$% lol

8.When u think u da shit an your pussy smell like shit lol

9. FUCK a tick tack u need MAGIC Bitch!!! lol

10. When u were girl shit claiming u da shit,naw boy but reality u realy bitch lol

11.We thought u was a quite girl but u fucked three niggaz since u been her.lol

12.When u think u thick but u realy a stick lol.

13.When u a BIG GIRL STAY OUT THAT SMALL ASS SHIT lol

14.When pepole discover u fuck wit gay guyies on FaceBook don't cry be a Man about it lol

15. You call a group niggaz pretty you know good as well your ass is HOMO!!!

16. When hang wit duckz to stand out dont think u are a cuttie bitch your a duck too lol

17.When u always on a girl an she like dame get off me.

18. When the JWUoo gays come around for a meeting u stay and everybody else leave damn nigga what are u lol

19.When u look online for a book to B a thug u aint gangta lol

20.When you got everybody number in your phone an they dont wont to talk to u damn nigga stop calling lol

21. Light Body niggaz stop tryin to be a"THUG" bitch you weak lol

22.When u KNOCK ON GIRLZ ROOM DOORZ an they dont answer go ahead an go back to your room your lame lol

23.When u lie about fucking a bitch knowing u aint fuckin shit, 10 times outta 9 your dick is small lol

24. When u lame and you lay in a girl bed it do not mean u fuck wit that Bitch it just mean she feel sorry for you lol

25.When you throw your hood up and it take more than 15 mins. your not BANGIN BITCH, you doin sign language!!!!!!!

If any of these sound like you then you know that you have just been hit by the CALL OUT KATRINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ULTIMATUM

I WONT POST ANY MORE JEROME STORIES UNTIL KYLE DOES HIS PART OF THE DEAL AND BUYS ME SMACKO.BE I HAVE WRITTEN PLENTY OF SWEET SHIT AND I DESERVE IT!!!!

jerome update

Here is the promised jerome update!

UPDATE: I WILL WRITE MORE OF THE JEROME STORY SOOOON!

:) :) :) :)

p.s nate walsh loves to get his slant on at work, if you are nate's boss fire him for getting drunk at work

booyah

nate walsh is a big fag and he jerked off a black guy for a dub1!!